The following is a list of songs from the 1980s, none of which made the Top 40, that will give your iPod confidence and a winning gait. Use your next iTunes gift card wisely.
1. “This Beat Goes On/Switchin’ To Glide,” The Kings (1980). These ersatz royal Canadians had the chutzpah to debut with a double sided or, if you prefer, an extended segue single that slithered up to #43 on the U.S. pop charts. Despite the production work of Bob Ezrin, who made his mark producing hard rock acts like Alice Cooper and KISS, The Kings were a cheesy garage band that lucked into some catchy hooks. The unassailable wisdom that “nothing matters but the weekend, from a Tuesday point of view” has kept these crafty Canucks in business for over three decades.
2. “(Say No to) Saturday’s Girl,” Human Switchboard (1981). An Ohio based Velvet Underground influenced trio, Human Switchboard received heaps of critical praise for their sole album, 1981’s Who’s Landing in My Hangar? Myrna Marcarian both pleads and makes demands to a lover who wanders on this I know I’m losing you heartbreaker.
3. “Girls Like Me,” Bonnie Hayes with the Wild Combo (1982). 1982 was chocked full of tasty new wave sugar smacks including Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America,” Berlin’s “Metro,” and the I might like you better if we slept together anthem “Never Say Never” by Romeo Void. The explosively spirited “Girls Like Me” was used in the opening credits of the okay, fine, fer sure, fer sure Valley Girl flick, but sadly failed to chart. Hayes got on the Raitt commercial track when another Bonnie covered her compositions “Love Letter” and “Have A Heart.”
4. “Gimme a Ride to Heaven Boy,” Terry Allen (1983). Musician and painter Terry Allen was alt country before the genre was established and he’s had songs covered by Robert Earl Keen, Cracker, and Little Feat. On this 1983 number, Allen picks up a hitchhiking Jesus who drinks his beer (beating Thomas Rhett to that theme by almost three decades) and steals his car. It’s too late Carrie Underwood. Jesus already took the wheels.
5. “I Want You Back,” Hoodoo Gurus (1984). This Australian band hit the Down Under charts 19 times from 1983 to 1994, but only made the top ten once, with the 1987 novelty hit “What’s My Scent?” On the guitar driven “I Want You Back,” which is not the Jackson 5 tune, lead singer Dave Faulkner basks in the glow of rejecting a former lover.
6. “Take the Skinheads Bowling,” Camper Van Beethoven (1985). The Skinhead subculture originally formed in England in the 1960s and musically was associated with ska and reggae music. Not exactly a soulful unit, Camper Van Beethoven didn’t write “Bowling” to make a sociological statement. David Lowery, “ The lyrics were purposely structured so that it would be devoid of meaning. Each subsequent line would undermine any sort of meaning established by the last line.” I like carnival food.
7. “Just Like Honey,” The Jesus and Mary Chain (1986). Copping the beat from The Ronettes’ “Be My Baby,” Run-JMC artfully plastered Velvet Underground feedback onto a classic Spectorian arrangement. Brilliant song. Shame about their hair, though.
8. “Clean Sheets,” The Descendents (1987). The Descendents brought an atypical pop melodic sensibility to the Los Angeles punk scene. Perhaps they don’t mind being unique; no other group in America has a lead singer that doubles as a biochemist and a drummer that was once a commercial fisherman. On “Clean Sheets” the narrator sleeps on the floor, because he knows what his lover has done under the covers.
9. “Prison Bound,” Social Distortion (1988). Mike Ness wasn’t making an empty punk rock boast on “Prison Bound,” during the mid-80s he detoxed from heroin addiction in a California jail. Now in his fifties, Ness celebrates his freedom nightly by performing in front of middle-aged mosh pits at House of Blues venues all across this great land.
10. “Romeo Had Juliette,” Lou Reed (1989). Lou kicked of his elder statesmen New York album with this cinematic, colorful tale of hoodlum romance. Our friend Lou has only been gone for a few weeks, but I miss the old crank. And something flickered for a moment. And then it vanished and it was gone.