Its 12:40 in the morning and I just got in. I have 10 thousand things I need to do then I have 15 min to sleep and start a new day.
As a diligent ‘Blog-ette” I feel compelled to throw words out there to begin the dissection of this night. There will be more in depth review and explanation, from myself as well as the Magpie.
Bostons House of Blues was a quarter full when we arrived. The crowd late 20s with too much beer and too many pounds on. A loud and boisterous hot mess so to speak. Men/boys entangled with girls in cheap designer knock offs swapping tongue juice and drunken heavy girls in shirts cut too low wishing that shirt would garner them that same situation.
The crowd made me uncomfortable. I didn’t feel their vibe. That pathetic peacock dance of “notice me” “want me” ” love me” ” bed me”…..”help me”. I’m past those days. I’m just me. I’m happy to be me, I no longer have that desire or that drive to command love from strangers. Get the fuck out of my way. To that couple with the hands who I interrupted to say that you disgusted me, well you did and when I asked if your mommy was home and that’s why you had to get that grind on in a bar, the sarcasm was real. When I told you to get a room I meant it. Your sad seek solace and you’re sorta gross.
We missed the first band but caught the second. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus who felt it more important to make fun of Boston accents and talk about Sam Adams lager than to explain why they haven’t made a decent recording in forever and they’re still just a one hit wonder. Thanks, move on.
The awards given out by the Suicide prevention coalition thanking a woman who actually called that exact hot line, saying she didn’t want to live and then in turn shared her stories of triumph, or the Samaritan who takes those calls and helps people through without threat of police intervention or the man who gave 10% of his salary to the foundation, and once laid off gave 10% of his unemployment to the cause. Bold moves, strong characters. My eyes welled with tears at the magnitude of those who give to strangers and save them. Who move them. Who inspire them.
To the drummer of RJA, who started his set to with a prayer for those who have ever considered suicide or have helped someone off the ledge so to speak, and to the drunken bitch behind me who said “fuck that I don’t believe in God are we really going to get out of here at 10? I got a paper to do”, yeah I meant it when I told you to shut the fuck up and yeah, I meant it when I said you were a scumbag. Cuz you were behaving like one.
I wasn’t there to see the crowd I was just fate dropped into a room with them. Trust me if I had my way it would be silent seats of people watching and no one assaulting my sense with theire… Humanness.
As I stood there in the midst of this mess next to the most beautiful person I have ever known (inside and out) I wondered what rushed through her head. By far the youngest person there, and by far the most self assured of the lot.
So as the strains of Dylan rose in the air and the roadies set up and taped down we took notes we deep breathed I checked email and shifted my stance.
And then in the center was the microphone to be used by Justin once Blue October got on stage. It stood there like a beacon. As if a speakers podium. Bathed in blue light and taped secure. The kid turned to me and said ‘bet you wish you were that micstand’ eluding to the fact that the man would be hanging on to me for the next hour instead of it. What she got in return was her mom with eyes full of tears. I had no explanation really I had no idea why the welled or why they do now but for that moment in time my daughter and I were the only ones in the room.
But it didn’t last long, and that’s a good thing Cuz just then out of nowhere the recorded voices mails of well wishers came over the PA wishing Justin well. “Take Care of You’, a statement echoed in numerous voice overs, perhaps his mother I’m unsure.. ” I want you to be OK, take care of you’… take care of you..
And then
Out came the band, to the strains of “Come in Closer” a ray banned suit jacketed Justin Furstenfeld beckoned us closer and suddenly the entire crowd meshed together.
We can continue this later…its 1am