(This picture was taken from a fabulous blog http://noblesquarebrewing.blogspot.com/) All religions are the wrong religions for those of different faiths but the concept of the interventionist God is dazzlingly bizarre. As a recent Facebook poster put it: "26,000 children starved to death today and you think God is listening to your prayers?" Well quite, I know he works in mysterious ways but I don't think he is ignoring that so that I can get tickets to the Beyonce show.
Though perhaps the answer would be that Christianity (or Islam if you're Moslem or Judaism… choose it) is like being friends with God on Facebook, he sees you on the scroll and answers for time to time. And I guess that's alright with me, I can't join in but as long as you don't kill me to prove your point be my guest.
Except, a song like Tim McGraw "Touchdown Jesus" is so mean spirited. It goes back to the 26,000 children starving to death. At the heart of Jesus intervening on behalf of a child dying of cancer is the following; what about all the times Jesus doesn't intervene. What about all the times he spends sitting at God's feet minding his own business while somebody else ten year old dies of cancer?
It's not Jesus that's the problem here. It certainly isn't Jesus in song. Iris DeMent's 2012 "The Night I Learnt Not To Pray" is a deeply religious Christian song and a very important song and I respect and love it. It is the blatheringly silliness of "Touchdown Jesus". It does to god what Disney does to animal: he gives them human characteristics.
That's the problem with Thomas Rhett's unbearable stupid "Beer With Jesus". Not only is it a bad song because it sounds bad, it is a bad song because it is so surreally wrongheaded.
"If I could have a beer with Jesus
Heaven knows I'd sip it nice and slow
I'd try to pick a place that ain't too crowded
Or gladly go wherever he wants to go
You can bet I'd order up a couple tall ones
Tell the waitress put ‘em on my tab
I'd be sure to let him do the talkin'
Careful when I got the chance to ask
How'd you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Do you hear the prayers I send
What happens when life ends
And when you think you're comin' back again
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
If I could have a beer with Jesus
I'd put my whole paycheck in that jukebox
Fill it up with nothing but the good stuff
Sit somewhere we couldn't see a clock
Ask him how'd you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Have you been there from the start
How'd you change a sinner's heart
And is heaven really just beyond the stars
I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus
He can probably only stay, for just a couple rounds
But I hope and pray he's stayin' till we shut the whole place down"
In Joe Steinhardt's upcoming song "History" he decries the lack of mystery in the world, this nonsense takes lack of mystery to whole new levels of silliness.
At the heart of the Christian religion is the myths of mankind and at the heart of everlasting life is a mystery well beyond the rubbish, the unreal mental vacuum of country songs about Jesus. I don't see anything wrong with turning the greatest mystery of life into a couple of tall ones but I don't see anything positive about it. And I do feel it is wearyiingly unimaginative to fail the otherness of Jesus, the Divinity of the man-God by morphing hinto either a football star or a buddy you wanna belly up to. Particularly when the song is so uninspired. If it was just any good whatsoever…
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