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Worst Musical Genres Ever


In 2014, rock nyc cut and pasted an article off Every Noise At Once, detailing the 1200 plus genre’s of music in the 21st century (here), and I should have probably referred to it before  but it is too specific to be truly useful except in a gosh darn manner. But genre’s have their use and the years have taught me that you tend to be forgiving of the genre’s you love. I love fair to midling rap but I hate fair to middling emo. That doesn’t mean I don’t admire, more or less, great emo, but once you get past the best, I leave and I don’t come back.

For instance, within their genres, Brand New are to Emo what Mos Def is to rap, above average but not the top of the food change. But I can’t stand the former and I love the latter, and it isn’t simple rap being vastly superior to emo but also a matter of genre. Here are the worst:

5 – Soft rock – While the years have mellowed my hatred, it is difficult to get up in arms over Seals And Croft and Bread in 2016, and there is a soft of kitsch approval rating. Even so, the entire sound is insipid.

4 – Heavy Metal – Yes, there are exceptions, but after Metallica and sometimes Lamb Of God it is a landmine of rottentothe-cores. Right through the heart of metal is something both great and lousy, great is the true DIY aesthetic, lousy is the true DIY sounds.

3 – Prog rock – Overblown bullshit we all thought punk rock had killed at the stake. As its practitioners die off, the Greg Lakes of the world bow out, it is a little more difficult to as vicious as the genre deserves. Worst of all? Prog-Core.

2  – Modern Rock – I regret writing that rock is dead back in the 1980s because this is DEAD… from Bastille to Imaginary Dragons, to Nickelback to Daughtery, the sheer horror of these bands is astounding. They are all bad and they sully rock’s great legacy.

1 – Americana – I was a gig a coupla years ago in which Rodney Crowell claimed he didn’t know what to call his music till they came up with Americana. Here, Rodney, let me help: YOU PLAY COUNTRY. Americana is the most pompous, boring, meaningless magpie genre of all time. If they call it Americana and it doesn’t suck, then it isn’t Americana. All those dumb bands with beards and rural aspirations, all that stuff, it is ALL TERRIBLE.

Bonus: Neo-Soul -It can sound alright but the songs suck.


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