Skip to content

rock nyc’s Tenth Anniversary Celebration: Why Girls Can’t Rock by Helen Bach


(Helen Bach arrives at the rock nyc doorstep to take charge for a couple of years of controversial, slack jawed brilliance -IL)

“.if you can’t hang with the big boys get the hell off the stage!” Contributing writer Helen Bach takes on girl rockers…


Fancy writing something about girl singers?

okey dokey.

That’s how it started but the tougher part is putting into words why I have such an amazing problem with female singers. I’m so closed minded for an open minded person.

I need to start off by saying I try…I WANT to like a female singer and as a mom of a rocker daughter I would LOVE for her to have a current role model. I wanted so much to love The Veronica’s, they’re cute they’re sassy. They suck.

Pink, Madonna, Beyonce, Brittany? Nope. They all have the same MO. I love you ,I hate you, go die, make love to me, get the fuck out, why’d you leave me, Ill show you……no thanks.

It seems to me in my quest to find a girl to respect the well runs dry so fast. Most female singers are supported by tight dresses Spanx and a swelling band. Hayley Williams of Paramore? Nice air guitar but Benatar sucked just as much as you years prior. The flip side of the glamour girls are the grungy girls with bare legs and cowboy boots trying to be trailer park vixens all the while falling short of tolerable.

But wait…..

There are a few. A handful of women I admire. I can listen to them all day I can relate to them they aren’t full of shit and glitter. The list is small but the list is powerful

Gwen Stefani is my girl crush. Way on back to No Doubt up to her ghetto- licious hollah back I adore her. She is not smoke screening you she is giving you no bull. She will drop and give you 20 push ups and you’ll cheer her on. I saw No Doubt this summer. Horridly opened up by Paramore, I would have called out sick if I were them. No way could they hold a candle to this goddess. Gwenns voice has a tremendous ability to morph from vulnerable to strong all the same time remaining true to herself. Shes not yelling at me to ‘CMON!’, were joining in naturally cuz we want to go with her.

Salt n Peppa hell yes..again strong girls with no I’m sorrys. Joan Jett? A bit to latex fetish for me shes lately catering to the fringe but then again, shes strong and tough and no holds barred, but shes a rip off of my idol of all time.

Now here is where things get dangerous. This entire piece can go from why I hate female singer to why I love Chrissie Hynde. Allow me a moment to speak of The Pretenders lead. I can not think of a time when she has failed to impress me. She has had some rough offerings but she has had a great length of career in a male dominated suicide surrounded industry and has come out all the better. I challenge you to listen to her rendition of Creep done acoustically and not hands down call her the winner of that song. She is again able to bridge emotions without losing control. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I wouldn’t want to whack Sheryl Crow in the head with a surfboard if she had an ounce of control. Maybe just maybe I would be able to relate to one of our pop stars if I didn’t feel so disgusted by them. For the record I continue to want to love them. I’m a girl! They’re my breed! But I just cant connect.

Rock and Roll is powerful if you cant hang with the big boys get the hell off the stage.

I should hold girl singer auditions. jeans Tshirt white light no make up and a guitar.

g’head impress me I’m rooting for ya.

Leave a Comment


Support Let Me Help Inc by shopping at

Going Steady: New Singles 1-14-22 – 1-20-21 Reviewed

By Iman Lababedi | January 16, 2022 |

Less push, More flow

Village Voice Pazz and Jop Ripoff Poll 2021

By Steve Crawford | January 16, 2022 |

350 rock critics, wannabe rock critics, or people with OCD

L.A. Burning, West Coast Concert Picks, January 17th-23rd

By Alyson Camus | January 16, 2022 |

a new Tupac Shakur exhibit opening downtown LA

UK Top 10 Albums: 1-14-22 – 1-20-22

By Iman Lababedi | January 15, 2022 |

a pop LP that isn’t popular is a question mark…

UK Top 10 Singles 1-14-22 – 1-20-22

By Iman Lababedi | January 15, 2022 |

her mama don’t like you and she likes everyone…

Five Songs For The Third Week Of January

By Alyson Camus | January 15, 2022 |

the riffs have never been so heavy

Brief Encounters Top New Recorded Releases 1-14-21 – 1-20-21

By Iman Lababedi | January 14, 2022 |

I bet Sub Pop were overjoyed as well

The Earliest Bird: Top New Recorded Release 11-14-22 – 11-20-22, Elvis Costello and The Imposters” “A Boy Named If…” Reviewed

By Iman Lababedi | January 14, 2022 |

upper echelon Elvis

Press Releases For January: Here Are The Artists

By Alyson Camus | January 14, 2022 |

“begs you not to sit in the difficult moments”

Why Is Everyone Dying?

By Iman Lababedi | January 13, 2022 |

the names aren’t as eye popping for music

Scroll To Top