Sign Of The Times? Mötley Crüe To Launch A Line Of Sex Toys

I know that times are hard for musicians, nobody is buying records anymore, Spotify and Youtube are stealing all the money, but is this the only outlet for 80’s hair metal bands? According to The Daily Dots, Mötley Crüe have now a line of sex toys, produced in conjunction with adult entertainment company Lovehoney. Sex Toys? Apparently, it totally makes sense if you have read the band’s 2001 autobiography, ‘The Dirt’, and I haven’t.

In their press release, Lovehoney describes the new toys as ‘eight powerful mini and midi-sized vibrators, emblazoned with the band’s iconic typography and distinctive artwork, as featured on classic albums ‘Girls Girls Girls’, ‘Shout At The Devil’, ‘Too Fast For Love’ and more’…

I can’t believe they have named these things after the Crüe’s discography, but black or pink they look as kitsch as Mick Mars’ hats, and just looking at these guys’ hairy faces these days is a guaranty for vow of abstinence.

I call the sex toys kitsch, Lovehoney call them ‘eye-catching’, I make fun of the band, Lovehoney describes the new objects as capturing ‘the style and sex appeal’ of ‘The World’s Most Notorious Rock Band’.

‘The toys are targeted predominantly at rock fans, but even those unfamiliar with the band are bound to enjoy them just as much thanks to the high quality, intense power and gorgeous designs,’ adds the very funny press release.

If you are interested, they are available for pre-order, and will ship in September, and I wonder whether they come with Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson’s sex tape.