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Morrissey’s Novel Is Here And If You Believe The Reviews, It Is A ‘Turd’



If you are a fan, you are certainly a die hard fan because Morrissey has only passionate fans, and so you probably can’t wait to know more about the singer’s upcoming book, ‘List of the Lost’. Well, you don’t have to wait anymore as ‘True To You’, the online Morrissey zine has shared the Moz’s explanation, and it is a ride:

‘The theme is demonology … the left-handed path of black magic. It is about a sports relay team in 1970s America who accidentally kill a wretch who, in esoteric language, might be known as a Fetch … a discarnate entity in physical form. He appears, though, as an omen of the immediate deaths of each member of the relay team. He is a life force of a devil incarnate, yet in his astral shell he is one phase removed from life. The wretch begins a banishing ritual of the four main characters, and therefore his own death at the beginning of the book is illusory.’

Whaaaaat? The book has been released this Thursday in the UK, and critics have already launched their hatred on Morrissey. Michael Haan of The Guardian writes that it’s not very good and he does not recommend reading it, but what he says is even worst:

‘Do not read this book; do not sully yourself with it, no matter how temptingly brief it seems. All those who shepherded it to print should hang their heads in shame, for it’s hard to imagine anything this bad , been put between covers by anyone other than a vanity publisher. It is an unpolished turd of a book, the stale excrement of Morrissey’s imagination.’

Wow, I can’t imagine something a harsher review than this one and then Haan overanalyzes the book concluding that ‘his attitudes towards sex remains odd: it is associated with death, for one thing. It seems to be predatory: older men feed upon the young.’ What does he mean? That Morrissey is a pedophile? Isn’t it a book of fiction?… Haan is obviously a Moz hater, so I passed on the rest of his ridiculous article, I can’t comment since I haven’t read the book, but this review was so turd-oriented I couldn’t take it seriously.

The Daily Beast has another review by Nico Hines, and it’s not falttering either, as the book is described as ‘a Bizarre, Misogynistic Ramble’, while ‘the writing is laughably clunky, the characters thinly drawn, the style stilted’. Hines continues ‘But what’s worst about the ex-Smiths frontman’s List of the Lost is its repulsive treatment of women.’ And he gives us a few sentences to prove his point about misogyny, sentences like ‘Women are less of a mystery because their methods and bodies have been over-sold, whereas the male body speaks as the voice calls a halt.’

The Telegraph’s review by Michael Deacon is not more positive as the novel is said to be ‘unreadable’, and Deacon makes the list of its 10 most embarrassing lines. There’s even this person on Twitter @lucyinglis who is doing a live reading/tweeting and he/she detests the book

As I said I haven’t read Morrissey’s novel, but what if the book is the apology of homosexuality, an affirmation of some repulsion for the woman body and a glorification of the beauty of masculinity? What if the style is as dense as the London fog and there are a more words in this 120 pages than in all the work of Shakespeare? No wonder Morrissey has left the UK 20 years ago, now let’s see what the US critics will say…

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