Skip to content

Jennifer Lopez: All I Have at the Axis at Planet Hollywood, Friday, February 17th, 2017

16796992_10154907819140761_5575141287455214636_o

A Las Vegas show is not unlike a bondage and domination hooker, once it’s exotic but twice it doesn’t get you off anymore. Jennifer Lopez’s “All I Have” show at the Axis is neither better nor worse than Britney Spears, with whom she shares a theatre. Yeah, Brit has a better catalog and yeah, for better or worse and more or less, J Lo is as manufactured as a pop star can be and, if only for Blackout, Britney isn’t. But Brit is pop EDM and J Lo is funk and Latin America flava pop and roll salsa. The latter just sounds better. They both left their twenties behind long ago and J Lo has entered her forties. So, add it all together and they are just about equals. But I preferred Britney who I caught in October and it is easy to see why. I was wowed by the production and while, again, Lopez production is also a beauty  (indeed, Brit rode a giant electric guitar during one section, J Lo rides a giant moon), there is only so many times you can get chained to a wall and whipped with a cat-o-nine tails before you wonder what else there might be out there.

The concept for J Lo is all in the title, the many sides of the extremely popular actress and singers, except, not really. It is really about the musical side of Jennifer with a side of “Booty” (the name of one song and set piece and yes, you’re right, that’s what her and the female side of her dancers are tributing) and the Bronx (another set piece  culminating with one of her top songs). Everything here is about as revealing as her one piece outfits -ie not at all, and as real as the video for the top song “Jenny From The Block” -which featured the actress driving around the hood on the backlot of a Hollywood sound stage. You don’t expect real life, right? Except in another set piece she lullabies her twins to Le Ann Rimes awful “I Hope You Dance” in an exploitative and somewhat stomach turning tribute to her children, replete with a picture of them on a huge screen at the end.

So, what is real and what is not? For J Lo, this is the reality of popstardom that jumps through arch ill disharmony to land as fair to middling Vegas showgirl T&A with a PG rating: it is something about nothing. Opening with a Disneyish flourish, J Lo appears as a wand bearing magician of her own life in a spectacular opening, followed by two big bang dancers anonymous hits, “If You Had My Love” and “Love Don’t Mean A Thing”  and the problem is the show peaked early. No, Jennifer Lopez isn’t singing, she does occasionally on the slower numbers but she isn’t even pretending to. Too much movement. The band are real but bland except the beats are strong enough. “A Lot Of Living To Do” is a little out of place but it is OK, I mean it is Vegas.

Mom is in the audience and gets a call out as we move into the Bronx set, all six trains and Yankee insignia , and memories of the birth of hip hop. Nice to hear “Jenny From The Block” though the following sexy sequence, all sexless grinding and odes to her tush,  loses me a little and the “I Hope You Dance” disaster is like a tomb closing on reality. I’m ready to walk but I’m glad I didn’t because a mini funk set follows and it is pretty good stuff, J Lo sells it hard and I’m willing to buy. A Celia Cruz cover adds to the feeling that maybe she could sell these songs if she played it straight. We are taken home with a dance segment, all the movement culminating again in a shrug.

It is all OK as Vegas show, iffy as art. Once a philosopher, twice a pervert goes the saying, my pervert side is satiated and then some.

Grade: B-

 

Leave a Comment





Amazon_Smile_logo-e1623352788338-reupload
ScreenShot2020-10-05at12.00.04PM-reupload

Support Let Me Help Inc by shopping at smile.amazon.com

The Daisy Jopling Band To Perform “Who’s Who” At The Transfiguration Church In Tarrytown, NY Sunday May 12th, 2024 7 PM ET

By admin | May 9, 2024 |

The Transfiguration Church in Tarrytown, New York Presents “Who’s Who”, original violin arrangements of iconic songs by The Who performed by the Daisy Jopling Band featuring the Sleepy Hollow High School Chamber Orchestra on Sunday, May 12th, 2024. Location: Transfiguration Church 268 South Broadway Tarrytown, NY 10591 United States Tickets are $25 and can be…

Cyborg Drummer/DJ DRMAGDN Headlining Montauk Music Fest

By admin | April 9, 2024 |

Major Label BMG Records Artist & Producer DRMAGDN Cyborg Drummer / DJ will be making his Montauk Music Fest debut this year in May. DRMAGDN will be the Official Host & MC of The Montauk Music Fest plus play headlining sets on Friday 5/17 and Saturday 5/18 from 10pm-12am at Gurney’s Montauk Resort (290 Old…

RED CARPET EVENT @ Chelsea Table & Stage 4/12/24 Featuring THE AMERICAN RELICS & DRMAGDN

By admin | March 25, 2024 |

On Friday April 12th, 2024 beginning at 6:30 pm ET  there will be a Red Carpet event pre-show sponsored by Tribeca Records at the trendy nightspot Chelsea Table and Stage located in the heart of Chelsea at 152 west 26th street (inside the Hilton Fashion Hotel) in NYC. The Red Carpet will be followed by…

Live Review: Composer Randy Edelman Live at Chelsea T&S “2nd Annual St. Patrick’s Day Massacre” 03/16/24 and Record Release in NYC

By admin | March 17, 2024 |

There was an infinite vitality of velvet green flowing deliciously through the air as Composer Randy Edelman presented his 2nd Annual St. Patrick’s Day Massacre at the trendy new nightspot Chelsea Table & Stage in the heart of NYC on March 16, 2024….. a vivacious close to the spirited Irish Parade. His music is the…

DRMAGDN: Cyborg Drummer/DJ Debuts @ Chelsea T&S With Retro 80’s Party & Red Carpet Event 4/12/24

By admin | February 29, 2024 |

BMG recording artist, producer and World renowned, Global Touring Electrifying Powerhouse, DRMAGDN: Cyborg Drummer and DJ will make his debut at the popular, trendy night spot Chelsea Table & Stage (located at 152 west 26th street inside the Hilton Hotel) on  Friday April 12, 2024 @ 9:00PM. DRMAGDN will be celebrating his high energy brand of Electronic Dance Music (EDM)…

Going Steady: New Singles 2-23-24- 2-29-24 Reviewed

By Iman Lababedi | February 26, 2024 |

dance pop, gooey confection

US Top Ten Albums Tracking 2-16-24 – 2-22-24

By Iman Lababedi | February 26, 2024 |

75K EAUs is abysmal

Our Friend Tony Orlando’s Farewell Tour

By admin | February 25, 2024 |

“I still hit the ball, I just can’t run the bases!!!”

Sneak Peaks: New Album releases 3-1-24 – 3-7-24

By Iman Lababedi | February 25, 2024 |

contenders for the best punk rock around

Child Bite, Lamb Of God, Pantera At Madison Square Garden, Thursday, February 22nd, 2024, Reviewed

By Iman Lababedi | February 25, 2024 |

A three hours of hard rock, metal not metal, swift, loud, egoless pure metal

Scroll To Top