“Make Some Noise Motherfuckers!” this rally cry was heard an uncountable number of times this weekend as yours truely delved into the glaring world of modern pop rap. Pop rap? Pop as in popular with the upper middle class entitled white kids with the keys to dads Beemer and a family Amex. I promise you if you went to the mall or a fast food restaurant in Connecticut last Friday the service was slow cuz every one of the name tag wearing employees were gulping Henny and pissing (quite literally dick out pissing) on people’s cars at the Xfinity Center.
So who unleashed this suburban thug life? Chance the Rapper who threw his 3 cap into the ring at the annual Hot Jams 93.7 radio event. The pre show tailgating gave clear indication that when moms is away… the kids will play Reports show that 90 kids were hauled out by ambulance and even more were given ‘summons to appear’ for drunk and disorderly. So proud of you kids, keep that idiotic rebellion alive.
The problem is when you add heat, cheap vanilla cologne and Axe soiled with spray tan and booze you get a sobbing stinking clumsy mess of humans all screaming out of tune (and off beat) to a guy who came in mellow, calm and…bored
Lets roll this shit back to the opener Kyle, Super Duper Kyle actually who’s silly rhymes about selfies and video games are delivered with energy of an old Soul Train episode. The synchronized dance moves with his ‘best friend’ Brick (who was like Kid n Play meets Erkle) were not only endearing but just plain entertaining. Kyle brought Cali rap fun to the ‘burbs and you couldn’t help but appreciate the pure cornball effect. I’ve been a fan of his for about 2 weeks. Why lie his career hasn’t been around much longer than that Ok lets be fair, the family knew of him enough to Wikipedia that hes been active in music for 10 years… and hes 24. Shout out to Mr Johnson’s 7th grade music class. But Kyle was fantastic and he will live forever on my gym playlist.
This upbeat entertainer was warm up for the much touted Chance The Rapper. Chance has recieved praise and glory from everyone and has the official awards to prove that he is in it for real and destined for even more greatness. Songs from Chances latest release ” Coloring Book” have actually given me chills. His words rapped or song with a clear image of smile. Hes a happy guy with good reason, success, family, fame whats not to like.
Well for me in the audience it was the almost blase’ performance. More singsong than rapped more gospel than ghetto, I point blank missed what was so great about him. A few fireworks a flat video screen and a guy in a t shirt running on auto pilot. I couldn’t judge by the crowd if he was doing what they expected because by this time they were all either slumped in their chairs post buzz, on the phone crying for their parents, passed out on the lawn in their own urine or on an ambulance stretcher. I cut out at the start of ‘No Problem”, cuz I was having a problem. I was bored, it was hot and Id had enough of the scene.
Kyle Grade B+
Chance the Rapper C..for comatose