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Going Steady: New Singles reviewed 7-29-16 – 8-4-16

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Fresh Eyes – Andy Grammer – There are whole worlds of these types of annoying lilting popsters and they all suck except that chick with the legs,  Colbie Caillat. This is the follow up to the godawful “Honey, I’m Good”. A terrible subtropical little thing that makes me throw up in my mouth – C-

Fake It – Bastille – If you hated “Pompeii”, you’ll have this lousy pop back into the charts track, all singalong handclaps, so irritating it seems to work on no particular plain of sound: certainly not as a singalong – C-

Closer – The Chainsmokers, Halsey – I was reading about Halsey the other day, she was living with a junkie and her life was coming apart at the seams when she must have slept with the right guy because they are sill selling her as the next big thing. This is the first song by this duo I’ve come within a million miles of liking, a nice little beat which stutters along and Halsey nails her verse dead – B

Goldmine – Colbie Caillat – The difference between Colbie and Andy is Colbie is a terrific songwriter, and while we may never get a song as perfect as “I Do” again, and while that whistling intro has to go, this is pretty soft peddle pop like Andy only with a gorgeous tune – B+

Real Love Baby – Father John Misty – This is about as easy going as the lizard king 2016 gets, much better than his usual over emotional crap poetry Morrison redux stuff, this is a straight up rock track that could see him heading to the charts – B

Zillionaire – Flo Rida – The one man hit making machine, who is beating out first runner up Jason DeRulo, this has a killer verbal hook on the chorus, and a EDM synth out plus horns – B

Brand New Moves – Hey Violet – Faux-pop punk with overt dance pop production -these guys are signed to 5SOS label, for obvious reasons – C

Fuck Apologies – JoJo featuring Wiz Khalifa – The former child prodigy has a good voice, but they mess with it too much on this pop charts move – C

Setting The World On Fire – Kenny Chesney, P!nk – They got the sand in your toes I wanna fuck my tractor Kenny and pop mistress of the trapeze for this manufactured pablum? Whatever – D

In The Name Of Love – Martin Garrix, Bebe Rexha – When did BeBe become the EDM go to girl? Why? This is terrible EDM pop – D+

The Spoils/Come Near Me – Massive Attack – You can’t go home twice, and this brooding track is out of time, and they can’t skirt by on their reputation six years after their last return,with a less than great album by the way. Which was suitably superior to these two dreary tracks – C

This Bitter Land – Nas, Erykah Badu – Four inner-city teens face the wrath of a Cleveland crime boss  after stealing a car that’s stashed with drugs and all I got was this fucking horrible bore of a soundtrack song  – D+

Run Blood Run – Phantogram – I loved them so much with Andre 3000 a coupla years ago, I thought I could forgive em anything, and I can, except their lousy songs, that I don’t forgive  – D+

Cop Vs Phone Girl – Third Eye Blind – Sounds like Andy Grammer… just stop – D

1 Comment

  1. Dick Destiny on August 2, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    I saw the same story about Halsey you did, in Rolling Stone. It had stuff in it both interesting and true. The trouble was the stories that were interesting were probably not true, while those that might have been true were not interesting. In other words, I got convinced it was a stitched together tissue of lies and exaggerations decorated with some shiny plastic sequins of truth but it was hardly worth the time to sort out which was which so I quit reading about halfway through.

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