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An Open Letter To Morrissey Regarding Recent Interviews

Dear Moz,

Lets start with the good stuff.  New album “Low In High School” aint shabby.  Lets face it “World Peace” sorta sucked, a couple good lines but it was actually a blessing that Harvest Records pulled it from the shelves if only to drum up sales from folks like me who just plain had to have it. I’m a huge fan.  Your goofy face is tattooed on my arm as is your microphone, its cord twisted to spell “Maladjusted”, damn I dig that tune.  Thanks for that too.  

I’ve met some pretty cool people at your gigs.  I always marvel at those sad kids who sleep on the pavement so they can get chest bruises on the barrier in hopes that you ll touch their hands or that the security guards will let them ‘stage invade’.  Whats the deal with that anyway?  You know its coming, security knows its coming, hell I know its coming yet its treated as unscripted… lame.  Anyway do you have duplicate shirts? Cuz you always toss one out- or do you just hate the one you discard?   Lots of questions but hey you’re a bit weird in interviews.  Can we discuss that for a second

What the fuck were you on in Germany?  Your interview questioning where Kevin Spacey literal boy toys parents were was sort of.. tacky.  I agree I mean, where were they but its sort of not the point.  Are you on the G&T’s again?

I gotta tell ya boss, you dropped some pretty jaw dropping quotes

“Berlin has become the capital of rape. Because of open borders.”

“I think every country should keep its identity. Millions of people died for German identity. If you think they deserve respect, you must protect their country.”…wait WHAT?

It gets better on the sex scandals!

“German Interviewer Spiegel: Since we’re here in Hollywood, have you followed the debates on Harvey, Kevin Spacey, and #MeToo?

Morrissey: Up to a point, yes BUT then it became a play. All at once ALL owe. Anyone who has ever said to someone else, “I like you,” is suddenly being charged with sexual harassment. You have to put these things into the right relations. If I can not tell anyone that I like him, how would he ever know? Of course, there are extreme cases, rape is disgusting, any physical attack is repugnant. But we have to SEE it in proportion. Otherwise, every person on this planet is guilty. We can not decide permanently from above, WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT. Because then we are ALL in the trap. Some people are already awkward when it comes to romance. They do not know what to do and then their behavior is aggressive.”

um.. Moz, I love you you know that I just told you but holy heck you’ve lost the plot.  I know you live in a tiny world and before I go further thanks for going vegan (was about time) and thanks for your animal rights stance but perhaps your activism should stay there.  As a person who has claimed to be asexual and non sexual and basically socially stagnant I don’t think its in good form for you to hold any sort of public opinion on sexual issues- its just, lets say its not your area of expertise and your coming across as a bit of.. ok a huge idiot. Remember your reputation is important to me as YOUR FACE IS ON MY ARM AND TATTOO COVER UPS ARE NOT CHEAP… so quit it.

Wait there’s more….

Morrissey:”People know exactly what’s going on. And they play along. Afterwards, they feel embarrassed or disliked. And then they turn it around and say: I was attacked, I was surprised, I was shattered into THE room. But if everything went well, and if it had given them a great career, they would not talk about it. I hate rape. I hate attacks. I hate sexual situations that are forced on someone. But in many cases one looks at the circumstances and thinks that the person who is considered a victim is merely disappointed. Throughout the history of music and rock ‘n’ roll there have been musicians who slept with their groupies. If you go through history, almost everyone is guilty of sleeping with minors. Why not throw everyone in jail at the same time?”

I cant dispute that last bit but most will.  Your already perceived as a bit of an oddity, wait that’s why I like you to begin with.  Remember when you weren’t doing interviews?  Maybe you should consider that again- just shush and perform!

Yea do that .. and don’t cancel Boston on Dec 7th,lets talk then

Love,

Hel

PS  FFS behave.

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