The World According To Hel: Top Ten Smiths Songs

Written by | October 9, 2012 0:07 am | No Comments


The top 10 Smiths songs?  Easy  despite a rather short life the band certainly left us with some doozies.  Part of the “Manchester Scene” they’re life was 1982-1987, that’s it.  Five years, was all it took!  Ahh sweet victory of ego, at last we have found you…


1-    This Charming Man.  “I would go out tonight but I havent got a stitch to wear”, this line is uttered by me at least once a week for over 30 years now.  This pop tart skip along beat is so contagious that I can do this on constant repeat for eternity.  This song just recently changed to remind me of a very jaunty bloke.  Jusss sayyinnn….

2-    “William,  “ Seriously Morrissey does his best Sammy Davis Jr. impersonation in this one.  No wait really, listen close, he totally hits the Sammy notes.  I love the screaching plea tone!  Also, you havent lived until you have seen Mary Magpie belt this out I the middle of the room.  Priceless.

3-    “Meat Is Murder”, from the intro saw blades to the playful use of words The Smiths sing the pleading rally cry of every compassionate human. “The flesh you so fanicfully fry…’ you can hear the pain in Morrisseys voice. As if there were need for another reason for me to adore this band, they speak my thoughts. No, no, no… its murder.

4-    “You Just Havent Earned It Yet”, the best quit your bitchin tune.  I’ll tell ya wha ah ah ahyyy”, You must suffer and cry for a longer time.  This lyrically should be played to every whining simp.  Should be subtittled Suck it Up Buttercup.

5-     “ Nowhere Fast”, it’s a hoe down! I'id like to drop my trousers to the queen”  There must have been a bit of old West in Manchester cuz this is fiddle fun.  I adore Morrisseys ‘la di da’ ing.  He does that well, just making silly sounds its just adorable.

6-    “Cemetary Gates”, they were born then they lived and then they died.  What an emo laugh.  How come Im the only one who finds this song hilarious? “ Theres always someone who trips you up and laughs when you fall”, Amen brother.

7-    “What Difference Does It Make”, the Abbot and Costello line! I’m still fond of you.. uh oh oh’, another classic line.  The Smiths were chock full of sing backs. I really hope Morrissey does this live.  I can’t see why he wouldn’t…hope hope.

8-    “How Soon Is Now”, classic dizzy intro.  This song brings back so many hazed memories that I could go on for hours about it. Dark autumn nights, cold rain… and this in the background.

9-    “Bigmouth Strikes Again”, it’s an election year! He’s gottaaaa do this one! Again, a wonderful sing along.  Just compiling this list actually makes me realize I prefer Morrissey to the Smiths.. odd isn’t it?  Typical me…

10- “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”, well if Helen Bach ever had a theme song this would be it!  Just kidding(sorta) but the song itself is just priceless.  Just the serious vibe of the silly lyrics (making Caligula blush!) Hubba hubba.  Of course there is one line that absolutely should be tattooed on my arm ‘Why do I smile at people who I’d much rather kick in the eye?’

Have I yet mentioned how excited I am about tonight’s concert?  This is the first and the last time I will ever see Morrissey.. that SOB better not disappoint.


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