Take The New Rolling Stone – Please

Written by | September 18, 2018 15:56 pm | No Comments

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“Jay Penske’s Penske Media, publisher of Variety, Deadline, Robb Report, and IndieWire has bought a majority stake in Wenner Media, the New York-based publisher of Rolling Stone, Men’s Journal, and Glixel…”

So old news sure and not the best of news, as anybody who has read “Variety” will attest. I get the weekly, well, every week, at my job, and the big, fat sucker is unreadable. I didn’t expect much more from the new owners but a coupla years ago I signed up for a subscription at the cost of a coupla Pumpkin Grande’s from Starbucks a month, and it keeps on coming. I always read it late, and later than ever now, it’s like homework…

So let’s look inside the September issue

The Cover: Stephen Colbert, a smug asshole -always was as well.

Contents Page: Tom Arnold: “If that loser can become president, this loser can take him down”? Seriously…

Correspondence: I swear RS has the lamest fucking readers on earth, “(Eric) Church should run for President in 2024”.

Opening Act: “Bruce’s Backstage Mood Board” -This is really cool, a picture taken backstage at the Walter Kerr of his mood board. Tons of hard liquor, a mailgram (? -I can’t make it out), pictures of Paul Newman, Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando (how is the latent homosexual hero worship treating you, Bruce?), And I SWARE I CALLED THIS BUT I CAN’T FIND WHERE,, Bruce is taking the Springsteen On Broadway off Broadway and on the road. How the hell isn’t he bored to death with it? I saw it once and it felt like I’d spent a year in his royal company.

The Mix: Finally,  learn something: I loved the Ty Dolla Sign article, detailing all the songs he’s been on THIS YEAR… Ortherwise, I am a complete agnostic when it comes to Mitski and the article was boilerplate, the Pearl Jam thing is just pictures, their Playlist was rotten AGAIN, though I am glad they gave a shout out to Ella Mai’s new single “Trip” which shoulda hit. Fall Tours? What PR company do these GUYS work for? I saw the Bruno Mars tour when it hit MSG last year -it was his worse ever by a long shot and without Cardi B on the dance card a must miss.  God forbid anybody does what they are being paid to do and admit it. I don’t know Reggae as well as I should and I found “Reggae’s Bright Future” helpful.

Spotlight: Anderson.Paak crested faster than any rapper in history. The article is a typical blow job. I am growing very fond of EDM singer Anne-Marie and enjoyed the fashion layout. A Slash interview -wow, that is the most boring two words I’ve ever written.

Random Notes: remember when Merle Ginsberg used to write em? Now it is month late Page Six paparazzi stuff with longer captions.

National Affairs: Isn’t one NPR enough? “Trump’s Judicial Takeover”? next, I love Matt Taibbi but his Corey Stewart piece is lame. The Gavin Newsom story by Neil Strauss is the typical friends of RS blow job. “Scenes From An American Tragedy” is illustrations by Molly Crabapple of “families emerging from the trauma and turmoil if the border crises” and by far the best thing in this issue.

The Rolling Stone Interview: Stephen Colbert -wow some get. The funniest bit is early, where “he grooves in silence to Sting’s melancholy 1991 jam “All This Time””. I’ve listened to it just now, perhaps Brian Hiatt didn’t mean groove, right? Still, it isn’t the worst thing… actually, I couldn’t finish the damn song so maybe it is the worst…  The interview is a whole lotta meh.

The TV Issue: I forgot to mention this is the TV issue. And here is another Brian Hiatt interview, this time with Tom Arnold.

RS Style: The Archies as re-imagined by CW have a fashion layout… not bad, I wish there were more pictures…. of Betty.

How Sia Saved herself: No, I didn’t read the stupid piece, though I did skim it, best line: “I like Beyoncé”. well gollee

“Blood And Oil” – No, I didn’t read it either but it might be interesting, it’s about the Mexico Drug cartels getting into the oil business. Who knows? Wanna hear something interesting: Gotti’s kid brother just got out of prison and the Gambino Family are scared he is gonna bring the mafia to the attention of the public again after years of nobody noticing them.

Reviews: “Another Side Of Paul McCartney”? a terrible review. The Travis Scott review, besides being ancient history, adds nothing to the discussion… You know, all these reviews suck. It is hard to take this even vaguely serious as rock criticism.  They gave one of the most important albums of the year, Troye Sivan’s Bloom, 30 words. THIRTY WORDS?? You have a magazine that, pound for pound, could beat the Vogue Fall Issue to a pulp, and you give Troye Sivan 30 words. And I can’t make a dime from rock nyc…

Grade: C-

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