rock nyc at the Grammys

Written by | February 15, 2011 4:00 am | No Comments

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 rarely get interested by the Grammy Awards, but I was on Sunday night, mostly because of the wild possibility to see Arcade Fire winning something, and they actually did!
There is a lot of decorum around the Grammys, especially when Lady Gaga is in competition. I thought her big Kinder-surprise-egg carried by gay slaves and a strange beauty from an Aryan-alien nation was kind of half incubated. What is the deal with animal products and that woman? First the meat dress, then the egg yolk… but this time there was nothing outrageous. On stage I thought she was wearing an over-easy-egg on her head, but her shoulders were sort of cool, in a hurtful kind of way. She is trying so hard to distract the public from her Madonna rip-off, that she is gonna be exhausted very soon.

Overall, there was a little bit for everyone, for the youngsters and the old folks, for the mainstream and the underground.

The Aretha Franklin tribute by Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch, Martina McBride and Yolanda Adams was just too painful to listen to. What an unbearable bunch of screaming females, trashing Aretha’s greatest hits, the worst of all being Aguilera extracting one by one her bloody pulmonary bags! It was like a howling contest that would not end.

There were two notable veterans, Bob Dylan turning ‘Maggie’s farm’ into a folk explosion with the help of Mumford & Sons and the Avett Brothers, although he was muted for the first few seconds, then Mick Jagger singing a classic of the 60s and still looking very green from afar.

Talking about green, Cee Lo, doing his best Elton John imitation, was all rainbow feathers and giant glasses for a ‘Forget you’ duo with Muppets and vamp Gwyneth Paltrow crawling on the grand piano, awkwardly moving with her insanely high heels.

Muse, who won for best rock album, was pretty horrible with re-acted riots during the performance,… because, of course, when I hear Muse, I automatically think punk riots!
I know, the song is called ‘Uprising’, … and it was apparently used as the theme song for the radio show of psychiatric ward candidate Glenn Beck. To be fair to the band they are far from sharing his insane views.

Eminem’s performance with Rihanna was, well, what you can expect from this sort of thing, he looked and sounded very pissed off and Rihanna’s dress was kind of cool, all flames and darkness. Eminem was looking stunned and still a little mad at everybody when he received his award for Best Rap album. Rihanna came back for a duo with Drake, on the same burning background, a proof that rappers do like fire.

Angel-winged Kati Perry did a nauseous rendition of ‘Teenage dream’, filled with enough sugar to give you an instant toothache; by the way, not only she can’t sing, but she looked like she was about to collapse at each of her move.

I haven’t mentioned Nicki Minaj’s cotton candy do, and Lady Antebellum’s 5 awards, but who cares?

There were quite a few cool things, like for example, quasi-unknown Esperanza Spalding winning the award for ‘Best New artist’, and so beating Biebert, also in the category! As another reward, she got her Wikipedia page trashed by Biebert’s fans using threats like ‘Justin Bieber deserved it go die in a hole. Who the heck are you anyway?’,… er,… apparently good-Christian-Biebert’s fans are so dumb they don’t know Wikipedia is constantly checked and cleaned up.

But I threw up a little bit during the pedophilic Usher-Biebert exchange, especially during the it-was-meant-to-be-we’ll-meet-again introduction, and couldn’t go through the falling-on-stage-Ninjas drummers dance, with 12-year-old Jaden Smith. Did we really need two prepubescent stars together?

Of course the most unexpected part of the night was the Best Album of the year award going to Arcade Fire. Barbara Streisand, in shock (or may be because she had never heard of them before) could hardly pronounce the name of the album, and they looked really surprised when they came on stage to perform an unleashed rendition of ‘Month of May’…
At the same time, there was a crazy series of who-the-hell-is-Arcade-Fire and who-are-the-Suburbs tweets, which made me realize they were still really the underdog in the story, despite their recent exposure. One more informed tweet was saying that ‘the biggest hipster band in the world was no longer underground’, and that ‘hipsters had lost their god’,… er may be he had a point.

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